The Difference Between ‘Caring’ and ‘Being Liked’

While building positive relationships with staff and students is paramount, administrators must understand the crucial distinction between 'caring' and 'being liked.' True leadership involves making tough decisions for the benefit of the entire school community, even if those decisions are not always popular. A caring leader prioritizes the long-term well-being of the institution over immediate popularity.

That being understood, everyone likes being liked. It is human nature. In the context of a school administrator, the idea that there is a difference between "caring" and "being liked" is an important concept to understand. While it may be natural for individuals in positions of authority to desire being liked by the people they interact with, it is equally crucial for them to prioritize caring for the well-being and development of the students and the school community as a whole.

Caring, in the context of a school administrator, entails a deep sense of concern and empathy for the students, their families, and the staff members. It involves understanding their needs, challenges, and aspirations, and actively working towards creating an environment that supports their growth and success. This could include implementing policies and practices that foster inclusivity, providing resources and support systems, and promoting a positive and nurturing school culture.

However, caring does not always guarantee being liked by everyone. As an administrator, you may be required to make difficult decisions or enforce rules and policies that are necessary for the well-being and educational progress of the students. These decisions might not always be popular, and there may be instances where individuals may disagree or be unhappy with the measures taken. It is at these times that the administrator must prioritize the long-term best interests of the students and the school community over seeking personal popularity or approval.

Being liked, on the other hand, is more focused on personal acceptance and popularity. While it is not inherently wrong to be liked, it should not be the primary goal of a school administrator. Seeking popularity above all else can sometimes lead to compromising on important decisions or avoiding necessary actions that might be met with resistance. It is crucial for administrators to maintain a professional distance and make decisions based on what is fair, just, and conducive to the overall growth and development of the school.

Ultimately, the difference between caring and being liked lies in the administrator's ability to make tough decisions, enforce policies, and prioritize the well-being of the students and the school community. Striking a balance between being compassionate and making difficult choices can be challenging, but it is essential for effective school leadership. By prioritizing the needs of the students and the long-term goals of the institution, administrators can create a positive impact and build a supportive and thriving learning environment.

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Smile

A smile is a powerful tool that can make a significant impact on the overall environment of a school. It may seem like a small gesture, but it can go a long way in creating a positive and inclusive atmosphere. Notably, it is important to remember that you do not own all the problems in the world.

We all know that a smile is contagious. It is second only to a yawn. When someone smiles at us, it triggers an automatic response in our brains, causing us to smile back. This simple act of reciprocation can help to break down barriers and foster a sense of connection between individuals. In a school setting, this can be especially important as it can help to create a sense of community and belonging. When students feel like they are part of a supportive and friendly community, they are more likely to be engaged and motivated to learn.

Just thinking about the health benefits, a smile can help to reduce stress and anxiety. Schools can be stressful environments, with students often feeling pressure to perform academically and socially. A smile can help to ease some of this tension by providing a moment of levity and comfort. It can also help to diffuse conflicts and de-escalate tense situations. When teachers and staff members model this behavior, it can encourage students to adopt a more positive outlook and approach to handling stress and anxiety.

A smile can help to build positive relationships between students, teachers, and staff members. When we smile at someone, it sends a message that we are approachable and open to communication. This can be especially important in a school setting, where students may be hesitant to reach out for help or guidance. When teachers and staff members greet students with a smile, it can help to establish a positive rapport and encourage students to seek out support and guidance when needed. Along the same lines, the simple act of a smile can help to create a positive learning environment. When students feel comfortable and engaged, they are more likely to participate in class and absorb new information. A smile can help to create a sense of warmth and positivity that can make learning more enjoyable and less stressful. This can lead to increased academic achievement and a more positive attitude towards education.

When visitors enter the school, it is welcoming when they are met with a smile. It helps to create a more welcoming and inclusive school environment. Schools are diverse places, with students from a wide range of cultural and socio-economic backgrounds. A smile can help to bridge some of these differences by signaling that everyone is welcome and valued. It can also help to break down stereotypes and promote a sense of understanding and acceptance. When students feel accepted and included, they are more likely to feel comfortable expressing themselves and participating in school activities. The ripple effect of a smile can extends beyond the school environment. When students see their teachers and staff members smiling and interacting positively with one another, it can serve as a model for how to behave in other areas of their lives. This can help to promote empathy, kindness, and positive social behaviors that can benefit students throughout their lives.

A smile may seem like a small gesture, but it can have a significant impact on the overall atmosphere of a school. By fostering a sense of community, reducing stress and anxiety, building positive relationships, promoting inclusivity, creating a positive learning environment, and serving as a model for positive social behaviors, a smile can contribute to a better learning experience for students. Teachers and staff members should make a conscious effort to smile and model positive social behaviors, while also encouraging students to do the same. By doing so, we can help to create a more positive, supportive, and inclusive school environment that benefits everyone.

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Digital Etiquette

Have you ever received an email written in all CAPS?  Did it make you wonder why?  Simply put, when ‘all caps’ are used, the effect is like someone is yelling their point. Certainly not good. Mentors have a golden opportunity to teach some online etiquette that will help with the dos and don'ts of online communication and social media. There are intricacies of digital communication and social media that not everyone knows about but should. In an increasingly connected world, the way individuals conduct themselves online has a profound impact on their personal and professional lives. A mentor can empower their mentee to navigate the digital world with finesse, ultimately enhancing their career.

Online etiquette, or "netiquette," is a set of rules and guidelines that govern respectful and responsible online behavior, such as using ALL CAPS in an email. It is crucial in today's digital age where interactions increasingly occur in the virtual space to understand how to interact within the guidelines. Mentors should stress the importance of maintaining professionalism in all online interactions, whether on professional networks like LinkedIn or personal platforms like Twitter or Facebook. This includes using appropriate language, refraining from sharing overly personal information, and respecting the privacy of others.

Teaching online etiquette also involves instructing mentees on responsible social media use. This includes being mindful of the content they share, refraining from engaging in cyberbullying or harassment, and understanding the consequences of their online actions. This is a skill that all educators should have knowledge of so mentors can learn and refresh their knowledge along with the mentee. 

Along the same lines, mentors should educate their mentees on the importance of safeguarding their online privacy and security. This includes setting strong passwords, resetting their passwords regularly, recognizing and avoiding online scams, and understanding the implications of oversharing personal information.

Finally, mentors should guide their mentees on cultivating a positive online reputation. This involves building a professional and authentic online persona that aligns with their personal and career goals. Additionally, mentees should be encouraged to actively engage in online communities and contribute positively to discussions. Teaching online etiquette will benefit the mentee along with the mentor and serve them both well into their future. 

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Encourage Curiosity

Mentors should help foster a spirit of inquiry and a passion for learning. By igniting curiosity, mentors empower their mentees to become lifelong learners and, in turn, excel in their personal and professional endeavors. As educators often try to find the light bulb they can ‘turn on’ in the minds of their students, a mentor’s challenge is the same. Curiosity is a powerful catalyst for growth and innovation. A study by Kashdan et al. (2004) highlights the role of curiosity in enhancing individual well-being and personal development. Mentors should recognize that curiosity not only fuels knowledge acquisition but also promotes problem-solving, creativity, and adaptability. 

A great work of literary fiction that addresses the virtue of curiosity is "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel (2001). The novel tells the story of Pi Patel, a young Indian boy who survives a shipwreck and shares a lifeboat with a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker. Pi embodies curiosity throughout the narrative. From a young age, he is fascinated by various religions and explores them with an open mind. His curiosity extends to his survival journey at sea, where he learns about marine life, navigates challenges, and develops a unique connection with the tiger. In “Life of Pi”, the author displays the transformative power of curiosity and the pursuit of knowledge. Throughout the book, it is Pi's inquisitive nature that ultimately provides the avenue for him to endure the extraordinary circumstances he faces.

Though not stuck on a boat with a Bengal tiger, mentors can play a crucial role in cultivating curiosity by creating an environment that supports questioning and exploration. By embracing curiosity, mentors ensure that their mentees are motivated to seek knowledge, discover new perspectives, and develop a deep appreciation for learning.

To encourage curiosity, mentors should provide learning opportunities for their mentees. This might involve recommending books, online courses, or workshops that align with their mentees' interests and aspirations. These resources not only expand knowledge but also instill a sense of excitement for continued learning. Mentors can also guide their mentees in setting learning goals and tracking their progress. This structured approach to self-improvement ensures that mentees remain motivated and accountable in their pursuit of knowledge.

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Cultural Sensitivity

Mentors should be aware of and respectful toward your mentee's cultural background and individual differences. Cultural sensitivity is essential because it acknowledges the rich diversity of today's workplaces and society. A study by Cox and Blake (1991) emphasizes the significance of diversity and cultural awareness in achieving organizational effectiveness. Mentors should recognize that their mentees may come from diverse backgrounds with distinct values, beliefs, and traditions, and that these differences can impact their professional journey.

Mentors play a vital role in creating an inclusive and respectful environment for their mentees. In a study by Wilson (2019), evidence suggested that cultural misunderstandings can result in hostility and suspicion. This can affect individual or organizational reputation, sustainability, and quest for success, thus arguing a need to be culturally aware. By valuing and acknowledging cultural diversity, mentors ensure that mentees feel appreciated and supported in their unique identity.

In really good work of fiction called “Americanah” by Adichie (2013), the author toils with cultural sensitivity. The story follows a Nigerian woman as she moves to the United States for her education and the search for a better life. What she is met with are differences culture and challenges related to her race and identity. Throughout the novel, the importance cultural sensitivity rings true. The narrative delves into the complexities of understanding and respecting different cultural perspectives, and it encourages readers to consider the impact of cultural sensitivity on personal relationships and societal dynamics.

To be culturally sensitive, mentors should take the time to understand their mentees' cultural background. This involves learning about their cultural heritage, values, communication norms, and any potential challenges or opportunities they may face in their professional field due to their background. By gaining an understanding of their mentees' cultural context, mentors can tailor their guidance to better address the specific needs and challenges their mentees may encounter.

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Social Intelligence

Social intelligence, by definition, is the ability to understand others and to act wisely in social situations (Walker and Foley, 1973). It comes in many forms though we are more familiar with interpersonal competence, egocentrism, and empathy. According to Mayer and Salovey (1993), social intelligence is closely related to emotional intelligence but involves the ability to discriminate among emotions and use the information to guide one’s thinking and actions. 

Social intelligence plays a crucial role in the success of new teachers as they navigate the complex and dynamic environment of the classroom. In the context of teaching, it involves the capacity to connect with students, build positive relationships, and create a conducive learning environment. As new teachers embark on their careers, honing social intelligence becomes an indispensable tool for fostering student engagement, managing classroom dynamics, and ultimately enhancing the overall educational experience. For mentors of new teachers, this is the reason it becomes one of the paramount skills to enhance. 

One essential aspect of social intelligence for new teachers is the ability to establish rapport with students. A study by Juvonen and Wentzel (1996) emphasizes the significance of teacher-student relationships in academic achievement and social development. Positive connections with students create a supportive atmosphere, encouraging open communication and trust. Mentors need to help their mentees to be attuned to the diverse needs and backgrounds of their students, recognizing that each individual brings a unique set of experiences to the classroom. This awareness enables teachers to tailor their approach, making learning more personalized and meaningful.

Furthermore, social intelligence aids in managing classroom dynamics and resolving conflicts effectively. A study by Brackett and Rivers (2014) underscores the impact of emotional intelligence, a component of social intelligence, on creating a positive and respectful classroom environment. New teachers must be adept at reading the emotional cues of their students and responding appropriately. In the social setting of a classroom, there are times when awkward silence become apparent. Mentors can alert their mentees to this potential and present them with some strategies to alleviate the situation is a constructive way. By doing so, they can address potential issues promptly, prevent escalation, and maintain a conducive atmosphere for learning.

In addition, social intelligence contributes to collaborative partnerships with colleagues, administrators, and parents. Effective communication and collaboration are integral to a successful teaching career. By understanding and navigating the social dynamics within the school community, new teachers can build a strong support network, exchange ideas, and access valuable resources. 

Social intelligence is explored in the iconic "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen (1813). The novel delves into the complexities of social relationships, class distinctions, and the impact of societal expectations on individuals. The characters navigate a world where social norms and manners play a significant role, and the story revolves around the interactions and misunderstandings between the characters, particularly the central couple, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy.

The characters display their social intelligence through their wit and social observations during character interactions. I reference this novel for two reasons: Because it is so wildly popular, and because the character’s ability to understand, navigate, and respond effectively to social situations. Really the overall message of the novel aligns with social intelligence. The idea that we all should reflect on the consequences of judgment, prejudice, and the nuances of human interaction. 

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Value of Work Ethic

Emphasize the importance of integrity, responsibility, and a strong work ethic. Impactful mentors can guide their mentees toward becoming not only successful professionals but also individuals of high moral character.

Work ethics encompass a set of moral principles and values that govern behavior in the workplace. Integrity, responsibility, and a strong work ethic are essential qualities for achieving success in any career. There is an abundance of research on the importance of ethics in the professional setting that highlights the role of ethics in building trust and maintaining positive relationships in the professional world. In a study by Osibanjo et.al. (2015), it was clearly observed that ‘work ethics’ is outcome based. When it is strong, it promotes excellent performance on the job but if the opposite is true and the work ethic is weak, poor performance is the result whether in the short or long run. In the study it was also clarified that job performance is not a single unified construct but a multidimensional construct consisting of more than one kind of behavior. Based on the review of existing literature related to work ethics, it was suggested that employee job performance through work ethics is influenced by a number of variables such as integrity, sense of responsibility, discipline, quality and sense of team work. This model determined that work ethics can either be strong or weak bearing the same result on employee’s job performance.

A number of studies confirmed that excellent or good performance of an individual employee is related to strong work ethics (Herman, 2002; Mann, 2010 & Meriac, 2012). Though it doesn’t have to be the case, Lew and Chu (2012) discovered that individuals with strong work ethics tend to work for a longer hours and spend less time on leisure however enjoy higher performance. Herman (2002) acknowledged that efficient and constructive use of time is consistent with strong work ethics. Adding to the mix, procrastination certainly has a role considering delaying or avoiding the execution of a task no doubt contributes to poor performance of job by employee (Van Eerde, 2003).

Mentors serve as models for ethical behavior. To promote work ethics, mentors should actively demonstrate these principles in their own professional lives. By acting with honesty, accountability, and diligence, mentors set an example for their mentees to follow. Mentors should communicate the importance of these principles and explain how they are applied in everyday professional situations. To attain excellent job performance therefore, it is imperative for employees and organizations to promote good practices in the world of work (Osibanjo et.al., 2015).

In some situations, professionals may face ethical dilemmas that conflict with workplace demands. Mentors should help their mentees navigate these challenging situations by teaching them to strike a balance between their professional and ethical values.

A strong work ethic is displayed in the book "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand (1957). The novel is a philosophical and political work that explores the role of individual achievement and the importance of a strong work ethic in a society. The dystopian story is set in the future after 1957 where the government and political idealism is causing the most productive and innovative individuals to protest. The main character, Dagny Taggart, is a dedicated railroad executive and a consummate workaholic. Then there is John Galt, a symbol of individualism and exceptional talent. The book promotes the idea that a strong work ethic and individual achievement are crucial for the well-being of society. The message is fairly clear from this book and has direct correlation to the classroom. The challenge is for readers to consider the moral and ethical implications of hard work, productivity, and the pursuit of personal goals.

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